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Friday, August 13, 2004

Stupid ER Stories

This is from my brother enjoy.

Do you understand what ‘Emergency’ means?

Go get your dictionary; you know the one with the cover and the first 12 pages torn out, look up ‘emergency’. How is it then that people think a cough that you have had for three weeks suddenly constitute an emergency at 2 o’clock in the morning? A burning sensation when you pee is not an emergency especially when your date is sitting in the waiting room, you should have thought about that before you slept with that skank whore. The lump in your throat that you have had for 4 months is not an emergency. The pain in your knee that comes on the day before it rains, every time it rained for the last 25 yeas, is not an emergency. Shooting yourself in the balls while trying to shove a sawed-off shotgun in your pants is an emergency only because you need as many people as possible to know exactly how stupid you are. The only reason you brought your crying baby to the ER is that you are 16 and stupid. If you wreck your car drinking and driving, you should not go to the Emergency Room you should be chained to a stop sign so people can drive past you and throw garbage at you, stupid. Penis stuck in the tip of a glass coke bottle, funny, but not an emergency. Oh, don’t get me started on prisoners, swallowing everything they can fit in their mouth so they can go on a field trip and get out of jail for a little while. If you come to the hospital with a second-degree burn on your lips and a 107 temperature, it’s because you were smoking crack, we know, so stop lying. And just so you know, do not call and ask questions about ‘medical problems’ over the phone, we cannot answer them, it’s a legal thing. If your kid falls down and will not walk for over 72 hours, you need to take your child to your family physician during normal business hours. The ER is not a 24-hour clinic.

Do you have some stupid ER stories? Tell us about them in the comments.

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