Carnival of Comedy Idol

Carnival of Comedy Idol Welcome to the show! I’m Wild Bill and I’ll be your host today for the 56th edition of the Carnival of Comedy. I want to thank our producers IMAO and spacemonkey for letting someone with as little talent as me host the Carnival this week. We have a total of 22 contestants that submitted posts, so I thought why not judge them American Idol style. Play that funky music white boy! Now everyone that submitted posts is a winner in my book, but who are the real winners? Chainik Hocker from The New Chainik Hocker sings, "Welcome to the United States of North America, can I take your order?" Remulak MoxArgon from The MoxArgon Group does his rendition of a Frank J. classic, "In Your World: It Is Fun Being An Illegal Alien!" Vox Poplar & Noam Chomsky from Vox Poplar Is Right About Everything & Don't You Forget It! demonstrate their vocal styling with, "Plain Speaking." Jon Swift from Jon Swift rocks out with, "No Amnesty for Old People!" Here is what our judges had to say: The pleasantly plump, Randy Jackson: "America we got a hot one here tonight! Woof woof!" The usually drunk, Paula Abdrool: "I wanna take you back to my house and, well you know!" You're a PUNK Simon Cowell: "That was absolutely brilliant!" Second place is the first LOSER! Peace Moonbeam from The Peace Moonbeam Chronicles brings a tear to our eye with, "Goodbye Cruel World." Subbes from Catnabbit gets a 50 paws applause purring, "Top Ten Threats to National Security As Seen By Cats" Jerry Dante from Jerry Dante makes Paula cry with his standup routine, "The Princess Bullsh@t" [naughty language] (audio) Here is what our judges had to say: Randy Jackson: "Dawg, I mean DAWG, you know what I'm sayin? Woof woof!" Paula Abdrool: "You all look beautiful!" Simon Cowell: "Ehhh, Ok. Thank God there's always next week." Good news, everybody knows who you are; Bad news, everybody knows you lost! Scott Kominsky from Observelife let's it rip, "Farting in Public: Deny, Admit, or just blame it on that guy." [naughty language] Citizen Grim from Right Hand of God slays us with, "School Deathmatch Opportunity!" AbbaGav from AbbaGav jumps up and down on the couch screaming, "Oprah's Jenin Week -- Day 3: Go Girl." Mark A. Rayner from The Skwib trys to impress the judges with two selections, " Hussein succeeds where Blaine fails!" and, "Blogger ponders on things instead of musing about them." Here is what our judges had to say: Randy Jackson: "Dawg, Dawg, If I'm keepin it real I mean DAWG, it started good at the beginning but I don't know it kinda just didn't you know what I'm sayin? Woof woof!" Paula Abdrool: "I just wanna hug you, I love your shoes!" Simon Cowell: "Pack your bags." Oh no you didn't say I'm going home! Chris from Platypus-Society.Net rips Ryan Seacrest's arms off then delivers a, "Brand New Wookiee Report!" (audio) Buckley F. Williams from The Nose On Your Face plays the race card, "Reid On Racism, Poor Crop Yields And Chimichanga!" David N. Scott from Pererro says who the real loser is, "And the loser is... John Kerry!" Here is what our judges had to say: Randy Jackson: "Wow I didn't see that coming, Dawg, there were some pitchy parts but over all I mean DAWG, you know what I'm sayin? What's up Dawg Pound?" Paula Abdrool: "Waaaaa, I didn't even get a chance to, you know! SHUT UP SIMON" Simon Cowell: "If I'm being honest, you have to do a lot better than that. Goodbye!" You have no real talent, we only feel sorry for you, and you're goofy looking! Corman from Creativity Dies tortures us with his, "Orange bags of guilt!" [naughty language] Miriam from miriam's ideas does a bar mitzvah karaoke song called, "Jews don't want to run the world any more!" tommy from Striving For Average at least he tries, "Mission Impossible III!" Jim "Suldog" Sullivan from Suldog-O-Rama poo poo's the whole competition with, "You Are Reading SULDOG-O-RAMA!" [naughty language] Here is what our judges had to say: Randy Jackson: "Dawg, ok ok check it out, dawg it was pitchy, hmmmmmm I don't know, you can do alot better, I didn't like the song, you know what I'm sayin?" Paula Abdrool: "I agree with Randy, it was great, I just want to pinch your little checks and..." Simon Cowell: "Paula are you drunk? I've heard farts with a better sound than that!" She bang, she bang, O-baby she move, she move!!! Morg from Morg leaves the crowd speechless, "Part5 Buck Wild at the UN." FIAR from Radioactive Liberty is asked to leave the room by Randy because he broke down with, "Car Help Needed" Dr. Little Orange Fox from Blogs for House makes Paula and Jack Bauer cry when she explains, "What really happened tuesday night!" the blue square from The Order of the Blue Square gets his 15 minutes of fame with, "Introducing: 'The Machiavellian Cipher'" Le Centre from Centrerion Canadian Politics is asked by Simon, "Are you serious?" after his performance of, "Karl Marx, Carrolyn Parrish: Quip of the Day." Here is what our judges had to say: Randy Jackson: "Dawg?" Paula Abdrool: "Maybe you could try again next year." Simon Cowell: "That was possibly the worst thing I've seen in my entire life. I would punch you in your dumb monkey face if I was not behind this table!" I hope you enjoyed this week's Carnival of Comedy, if you didn't don't blame me I just read from a teleprompter. Next week The MoxArgon Group hosts the Carnival. I'm out of here! Tell Frank J. to make a new podcast! Upcoming Carnivals: Jun 01, #57- The MoxArgon Group Jun 08, #58- Jerry Dante [language] Jun 15, #59- FIAR! Get your entries for the upcoming carnivals here and here. Trackbacks: Jerry Dante links with, Carnival of Comedy: Number 56 FIAR links with, Heh tommy links with, Hey Carnie... spacemonkey from IMAO links with, Dawg! The Carnival of Comedy is UP! Dr.FIAR from Blogs for House links with, HA! Harvey from The Alliance links with, Friday Linky Stuff basil's blog links with, Picnic 2006-05-24