Kerry [Dis]Honorably Discharged! (Ha Ha)

Thanks to ScrappleFace for this little ditty! Kerry Honorably Discharged from Senate byScott Ott (2004-09-09) -- On a day when new allegations surfaced about George W. Bush's National Guard service in 1972, Democrat presidential candidate John Forbes Kerry officially received his honorable discharge from the U.S. Senate. The discharge, coming just four years before the end of his fourth Senate term, was granted to allow Mr. Kerry to "pursue other interests at a time when the nation has a surplus of senators," according to the official discharge letter. Mr. Kerry immediately defended himself against charges that he had sought special treatment due to his status as a presidential candidate. "Despite allegations that I rarely attended Senate sessions, committee hearings and votes, and that I have introduced no significant legislation in the past 20 years, this honorable discharge proves that I have fulfilled my duty to the nation," Mr. Kerry said. The Vietnam veteran added that, "unlike Mr. Bush, I have not made my record of political leadership a campaign issue. Instead, I have stayed focused on my military service 35 years ago. After all, that's what's most important to ordinary Americans."