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North. Korea threatened US with Nuclear War, what should we do?

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Sunday, May 07, 2006

Redneck Repairs: DVR

Redneck DVR Repair
Redneck DVR repair 101.

If you have a Scientific Atlanta 8000 DVR chances are it will break. Mine did.

Why wait for Larry the Cable Guy to show up to fix it. Hell you made it through the 5th grade, why not fix it yourself. GIT-R-DONE!!
Here’s what you’ll need:
  • A beer maybe 12

  • A heavy object; rock, sledge hammer, or that engine block that you set your beer on.

  • A pocket knife

  • A bug zapper

  • Jumper cables

  • Dental floss (What’s dental floss? I’m not sure.)

  • A belt buckle, to hold your draws up. Your not a plumber so why look like one. If you are a plumber skip belt buckle.

  • A roll of Duck Tape

  • An Emergency Room (just in case)

  1. Drink a beer. This is gonna be some hard work, make sure you are properly hydrated.

  2. Unplug all the cables that are hooked up to your DVR. If you can’t unhook the cables use your pocket knife and cut them some bitches.

  3. Take your heavy object and lightly smash the outside of the DVR until the outside case comes loose.

  4. Connect one end of the jumper cables to the bug zapper. Plug in the bug zapper. Take a break for about 30 minutes and drink a beer while watching the bug zapper.

  5. Breaks over, back to work. Connect the negative (black) side of the jumper cable to what is left of the DVR.

  6. Yell, “CLEAR” (that’s what they do on ER!) and touch the positive (red) end of the jumper cable to the shinny silver looking box inside the DVR.

  7. Pour what’s left of your beer on the fire.

  8. Reset all the circuit breakers in your trailer.

  9. Drink another beer and yell at you sister wife to put the phone down because you put the fire out with your beer.

  10. Put the outside case back on the DVR

  11. If the case does not fit back on properly, wrap Duck Tape around the outside of the DVR.

  12. Now plug the DVR back up to your TV. Slap your mama for telling you, “You can’t fix it, you’re not a real man!”

  13. Watch the NASCAR race.

  14. Drink the rest of your beer.

There that wasn't as tuff as those city folk at the WalMart said it was!

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